The Many Deaths Abecedarium
by mermaid2bseeker
Summary: another in my epic immortal AU. This is some of the many deaths of Sherlock Holmes over his long life. Rated M for gory images.


**The Many Deaths of Sherlock Holmes**

Americans! Drunken Americans driving on the wrong side of the bloody road. Looking right-left-right doesn't help when the car is coming the other way. Sherlock's head made a wet thump sound as it hit the pavement. Luckily, he woke by the time medics arrived.

Belladonna. An irate criminal, seeking to eliminate the only man who could catch him, poisoned Sherlock's salad with the leaves of the belladonna plant. Strangely enough, the man's crime was so low profile and his actions during such crime so inept, that the London Met already knew who he was. Sherlock used this opportunity as proof that food was evil, setting John's effort to make him "Eat something, damn it!" nearly back to the beginning.

Cult. A gorilla worshipping cult decided to sacrifice Sherlock to their deity. The next day, at home, the skull was joined on the mantelpiece by Sherlock's very own pickled heart.

Drug overdoses. Oh, so many times. During the 1970 and 80s drugs were so easy to come by. Heroine, Cocaine, Morphine, Ecstasy, LSD. Pretty much anything that was a Class-A. Sometimes on purpose.

Elephants at the London Zoo. John had warned him not to enter their enclosure.

Falling glass. The resulting Picasso-like vignette was so terrible; John had honestly thought, "Oh god, he's dead." However, he still picked every piece of glass he could out of Sherlock's corpse, just in case.

Guildford. He never talks about it, but there was a sofa-bed and a ball of yarn involved.

Hanging. Long before he met John again, Sherlock was caught by an anti-gay mob and was killed for being a 'poofter'. After coming back, he made sure to ruin everyone of those men's lives in the most humiliating ways possible. GHB and photographs may have been involved.

Idolatry. Priests accused of child molestation will use anything as a weapon. Even a bronze crucifixion.

Jumping off a rooftop to avoid climbing down fifteen flights of stairs when the elevator broke. John took the stairs and so met up with Sherlock right as he was waking, "Lazy sod."

Killer bees. Sherlock quickly learned that bees had become more violent since the last time he'd tried keeping them.

Landing on the Tube tracks. John had to look away when Sherlock fell into the tunnel during the train's approach. He'd landed on the electrified third rail and so was dead before the train bisected him. There was no possible way to avoid the paramedics, so John just waited until after they'd collected the pieces and retrieved him from the morgue.

Moriarty. . . Again. Face planting in front of St. Bart's was not a nice way to go. Some of his teeth had smashed in and perforated his brain.

Nazi Bombs. The building that once housed his brother's Diogenes club was completely destroyed and Sherlock was killed by falling debris.

Oscar Zundza aka The Golem. Assassin for hire. Hands large enough to smother a man's face. Being suffocated during a planetarium show is an interesting experience. You see stars while seeing stars.

Pigging out on food. Sherlock makes up for not eating during cases, by eating too fast after cases. After the first few times, John just lets him choke. Though, not when they're in public.

Quips. Shooting off a pithy quip to a man about to be hung. . . _hanged_. . . is a quick way to piss off his family. Sherlock was more disgusted at the method of his demise than the reason for it. Being stabbed in the street is such a common way to go.

Reichenbach Falls, 1891. He drowned in the seething cauldron and was washed up in a village three miles down stream.

Snipers at the pool. The look on Moriarty's face as Sherlock tried to shoot him was definitely worth the ten bullets to the torso.

Tower Bridge. Chasing a criminal and getting snared in the new bridge's bascule mechanisms was a fascinating experience; it gave Sherlock such new interesting data.

Umbrella. Apparently, stabbing your father/brother with the sharpened end of your umbrella is a good way to get his attention. It was nice of Mycroft to offer to steam clean the rugs of the blood stains afterwards. It wouldn't have been necessary if Mycroft had waited to kill Sherlock until he was in the bathroom.

Violent exothermic reaction. On the upside, St. Bart's got a shiny new laboratory through a generous donation by Mycroft Holmes.

Wombat with rabies. This was one of the few times John killed Sherlock out of mercy, but really, out of Sherlock's deep-seated desire to avoid hospitals and the twenty or so shots to cure rabies.

Xiphoid. Luckily the people of the Renaissance Festival thought the stabbing was all part of the show.

Yo-yo string. Sherlock once hung. . . _hanged_. . . himself with the string of a yo-yo to test a hypothesis. To be fair to Sherlock, he wasn't actually expecting it to work.

Zymurgy. Drowning in a fermentation drum at the London Brewing Company is made infinitely more enjoyable when sampling the product.


End file.
